Despite the title of this blog, I haven’t actually written much about pain. Possibly because I try not to think about it. Sometimes though I just can’t help but vent. A blog is as good a place as any.
Physical, mind fucking pain.
That doesn’t stop.
That won’t stop.
A short Sappho fragment has been translated as “pain drips”. She was most likely talking about emotional pain, but it is relevant. It is one of my favorite descriptions of pain. The slow, constant, endless, drip drip drip…
I have been rather remiss in my blogging recently.
My plan was to just journal blog rather than think too much about what I am posting, in order to just get on with it!!!
I’m getting there.
Anyway, my health is slowly improving now I am back on the right drugs. I am managing to actually leave the apartment more often and last weekend I went completely out of my comfort zone (with a little help from a friend) and attended the Sydney Writer’s Festival. It was a fabulous day, and it was an achievement!!!
A few days rest, a successful trip to Newcastle to see my Dr and now I have a few weeks of no plans.
I’m very tempted just to hide in the apartment and read, but I need challenges, whether they be intellectual, physical, psychological, or a combination of all three!!!
I need a goal to work towards.
I want to go back to studying next semester.
For a start, I need the extra money the government gives me if I am enrolled. But also, it is something to do, I can set myself small goals each day to get the reading done. It anchors me. It also gets me out of the aparment, and even out of Gosford once a week. It takes incentive!!
Back to the present. As you know from my previous posts, I have quite a bit to say about same-sex marriage, and it is all over the news and for various reasons it is making me rather cranky. If you haven’t read my blog, please know that I am coming from a queer perspective!!! I AM A BIG DYKE!!!! So, to clear my head and in an effort to relax and have more pleasant thoughts, I walked down to the water, went to a café at my sailing club called “Tommy’s” and drank the most delicious soy mocha I have ever tasted and enjoyed the view.
I suppose I have a reader in mind, a mysterious x who has the characteristics of many of my friends rolled into one entity, my audience. As it is predominantly my real life friends who read my ramblings anyway, I guess I am not far from the truth.
So, the point then? Why do I write?
Hmmm…. well, to help me think things through, to hopefully have someone who is intelligent comment on what I have written and make me think something new, see something from another angle, questions my assumptions, or affirm my own position. It is always nice to preach to the choir, especially since my choir is rather small. The opinions expressed here are hardly mainstream.
I write to practice with words, so that my future self can be better than I am at explaining her ideas.
Or perhaps I am just bored, and while I wouldn’t say that I am lonely, I do have a lot of time to fill.
Why do you write? Who is it that you think of when you are writing?