I have been rather remiss in my blogging recently.
My plan was to just journal blog rather than think too much about what I am posting, in order to just get on with it!!!
I’m getting there.
Anyway, my health is slowly improving now I am back on the right drugs. I am managing to actually leave the apartment more often and last weekend I went completely out of my comfort zone (with a little help from a friend) and attended the Sydney Writer’s Festival. It was a fabulous day, and it was an achievement!!!
A few days rest, a successful trip to Newcastle to see my Dr and now I have a few weeks of no plans.
I’m very tempted just to hide in the apartment and read, but I need challenges, whether they be intellectual, physical, psychological, or a combination of all three!!!
I need a goal to work towards.
I want to go back to studying next semester.
For a start, I need the extra money the government gives me if I am enrolled. But also, it is something to do, I can set myself small goals each day to get the reading done. It anchors me. It also gets me out of the aparment, and even out of Gosford once a week. It takes incentive!!
Back to the present. As you know from my previous posts, I have quite a bit to say about same-sex marriage, and it is all over the news and for various reasons it is making me rather cranky. If you haven’t read my blog, please know that I am coming from a queer perspective!!! I AM A BIG DYKE!!!! So, to clear my head and in an effort to relax and have more pleasant thoughts, I walked down to the water, went to a café at my sailing club called “Tommy’s” and drank the most delicious soy mocha I have ever tasted and enjoyed the view.
After a broken sleep, I wake up at around 5am every morning with hypoglycemia. My body is screaming at me for food and cortisol. So I comply.
A sliced apple, berry muesli and low fat unsweetened yogurt, coffee, and my drug cocktail. What you see above are two asthma inhalers, my Hydrocortisone tablet, my SSRI’s and a calcium supplement. The things that keep me alive and functionaing relatively well, on a good day. The calcium is because long term steroid use can lead to osteoporosis, my last bone density test showed me to be at the very low end of normal so I’m taking precautions. Already my teeth are crumbling, I have two crowns in the front and a lovely hole where one cracked almost in half and had to be removed.
Back to mornings. I don’t really mind the early hour because it is the best time of day, I listen to ABC classic fm, watch the sunrise from my recliner, and read lesbian fiction, usually mushy romantic stuff. Mornings are for relaxing, I avoid the news until at least 7am, watch briefly but usually decide that it is just too much to cope with and turn off the tv. I read Crikey most afternoon and that gives me a smart, well written lefty perspective on any important news.
This morning I think I might go back to bed. Some morning I am really wired and pace up and down our apartment while reading, but today I am reducing my Hydrocortisone by 5mg and I am not feeling the usual “buzz” that it gives me. My wrists are also hurting, hmmm… maybe I shouldn’t reduse today. I think I might go back to bed. My girlfriend is asleep and our bed looks very inviting. It’s cold and too windy to go walking. I just want to snuggle up with her under the blankets and hopefully get some sleep… If I can get my brain to relax.